Useful Information

Shadow Sisters is a woman's social group where we connect, support and socialize through the art of written communication.  When you agree to become a Shadow Sister you make the commitment to send written communication to another Shadow Sister a minumum of once a month for one year.  In turn, another woman has your name and you will receive written communication from her once a month for one year.  Some woman choose to write in the traditional "pen-pal" style and know the identities of each other and others choose to remain anonymous. 

Answers to questions you may have are outlined below.

How am I paired with another Shadow Sister?
At the begining of a Shadow Sister year, you will receive a bio sheet to complete with general information about yourself and answers to questions which will provide the person you are being matched with an idea of who you are and what are some of your likes and dislikes.  The Shadow Sisters admin team collects these bio sheets and then matches ladies together.  The bio sheet of the lady you have been assigned will be sent to you and you may use this information as a guideline to her background, likes, hobbies etc.  You will have a choice to either remain anonymous or participate in a more tradition pen-pal style of writing.  If you choose to be anonymous, the woman who is sending written communication to you is NOT the same person you will be sending written communication to.

How long is the commitment to Shadow Sisters?
When you agree to become a Shadow Sister your commitment is on a yearly basis.  You may decide to participate for a year and then take a year off.  Our motto is "once a Shadow Sister, always a Shadow Sister", so you may choose to participate when you know you are able to make the commitment.  It is important to remember, once you have made the commitment for a year you need to follow through on the commitment until the year is complete.

What happens at the end of the Shadow Sister year?
At the end of the Shadow Sisters year we come together at Shadow Sister Retreat (explained in detail below) and celebrate the joys and friendship of the past year.  After the Retreat, the Shadow Sisters admin team begins preparing for a new year; we gather nominations, collect bio sheets and start the process all over again.  The only difference is you will have the name of a new Shadow Sister that you will be comminicating with for the year.

Does it cost money to be a Shadow Sister?
At the begning of each year there is an annual $40 dues payment which is submitted with your bio sheet.

What is a "Daisy" and what is a "Shasta"?
A Daisy is the woman you are sending to and a Shasta is the woman you are receiving from.

What is a Petal Pal?
A Petal Pal is a more traditional style of Pen Pal.  You do not remain anonymous.

Can anyone be a Shadow Sister?
You must be nominated by a current Shadow Sister to become a Shadow Sister and be a minimum of 21 years of age.

What is a "Mum"?
A Mum is the woman who nominated you into Shadow Sisters.  If this is your first year in Shadow Sisters, she will mentor you and help you if you have questions or concerns.

Should I keep myself anonymous from my Daisy?
YES!  Do not sign your name on your correspondence.  You may sign "from your Shasta" or some ladies have even used a made up name.  Shadow Sister, Carolyn Masciopinto, signed her cards one year with the name "Dolly" a nick name from her childhood.

If I am to be anonymous, what return address should I use?
The postal services requires return addressing on all correspondence, so to ensure your items are received by your Daisy use the Shadow Sister address as your return address.  The SS address is 5990 Lucerne Lane, Lake in the Hills, IL 60156.  If an item is returned for some reason we will be certain it is forwarded to your Daisy.,

What about the postmark on the envelope? Won't my Daisy figure out who I am by where the letter is postmarked?
Shadow Sisters is currently in 28 states and 4 countries.  Trust us, your Daisy will not figure it out.  Also, some women choose to send their correspondence while they travel so the postmark is not always the same.  Shadow Sister Marnie Smith one year sent her notes to family members in various states and asked them to mail the envelopes for her so each month had a different postmark.

How often am I required to send to my Daisy or Petal Pal?
The minimum requirement for sending something to your Daisy or Petal Pal is once a month.  You may send something more frequently if you wish.

What am I required to send to my Daisy or Petal Pal?
A written note, card, postcard etc is the requirement to send monthly.  May you send a material item? Yes, but this is not expected.  Many Shastas send a little goodie for holidays and birthdays.

What are some inexpensive (or free) items I could send to my Daisy or Petal Pal?
Does your Daisy like to cook?  Send her a recipe.  Is your Daisy a couponer?  Send her some coupons.  Does your Daisy live in the desert and you live somewhere with the change of seasons?  Send her some Fall leaves.  Does your Daisy have a favorite hobbie?  Send her an article about what she likes to do.  Cut out some funny comics or cartoons to give your Daisy a laugh.  Does your Daisy like to read or go to the movies?  Send her a book or movie review.  Be creative . . . the possibilities are endless!

What should I write in my note or card?
You may share personal stories about yourself; maybe share hobbies you have, share things about your family etc.  Just be careful not give too much away; especially if you have a strong presence on social media.

How do I join the Shadow Sister Facebook page?
If you are on Facebook, friend Shadow Sisters Marnie Mares-Smith or Carolyn Masciopinto (our FB administrators) and they will add you to our SECRET page.  Once you have accepted the invatation, look to the left when you are logged into Facebook and you will see the lists of groups you belong to.  Just click on the Shadow Sister group and you will be directed to our page.  Posting on this page is private to only SS members.  Your "Mum" may have also already asked that an invite be sent to you.  The purpose of the Facebook page is to offer support, friendship and laughter.  We respectfully ask that postings are kept positive.

I am not on Facebook, and I do not want to be, will I miss out on information?
No, any information you need to know to be a Shadow Sister you will find in the bi-monthly newsletter.  

What if it has been two months and I have not received anything from my Shasta?
If it has been two months since you have received anything from your Shasta, we need to know.  Please email us at info@shadowsisters.com.  We want to make sure everyone is "playing the game" but more importantly we want to make sure your Shasta is okay.  

What is the Shadow Sister Retreat?
At the end of a Shadow Sister year,  Shadow Sisters come together at a location somewhere in the United States to be "revealed" to their Daisy or meet their petal pal.  The Retreat usually starts on a Thursday at 4:00 PM and ends on a Saturday at 12:00 PM.  Many women choose to stay until the Sunday morning following but of course this is totally dependent on personal travel requirements. Traditionally, the "reveal" happens on the Thursday evening, a group function is planned the Friday evening and the Saturday morning is the closing business meeting at which nominations for the upcoming year are discussed.  There is loads of time in between the scheduled events to explore the area in which the Retreat is located, just hang out and get to know the other Shadow Sisters or SHOP, a favorite amoung the Shadow Sister members. The location of the following year's Retreat is also disclosed at the business meeting.  Past Retreat locations have been held in Colorado, Wisconsin, Arizona, California and South Carolina.  See the Shadow Sister Retreat and Gallery pages for more details.

Am I required to attend the Shadow Sister Retreat?
No, but many Shadow Sisters say they would not miss it for the world.  It is a weekend of love, support, friendship and FUN!  Everything Shadow Sisters is about!  If you are not able to attend, that is fine.  We have mechanisims in place to assure you are with us in spirit.

Do you have a question but you do not see it listed here?
Email your question to info@shadowsisters.com and we will get you an answer!